Breastfeeding, chest-feeding or lactation — whichever you choose to call it — is not for everyone, says Marita Obst, a midwife in Edmonton, Alta., who has worked in the field for almost a decade. “It’s important for people to make the choices that are right for their body and for their babies and that extends to how they feed their babies as well,” she says. Obst, who also serves as president of the Canadian Association of Midwives, emphasizes that there is no one right way to feed your baby.
The process can be deeply intimate, she explains, describing moments of quiet bonding between parent and child during late-night feedings. “I’ve talked to so many people as a midwife where they bring it up later on in life, they talk about their birth experiences and if they breastfed their kids, they remember that intimate, cozy, incredibly bonded time,” she says. However, she stresses that achieving this experience often requires significant support. The benefit of having a midwife as your primary care provider, she notes, includes prenatal preparation, guidance during birth, and home visits during the first six weeks postpartum.
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The Reality of Early Lactation Challenges
In her experience, many people assume breastfeeding will be easy because it is “natural.” “Frankly, it can be very difficult,” Obst says, explaining that the first few days are often the most stressful. New parents and babies may struggle to find a comfortable latch, and there is concern about whether the infant is gaining weight appropriately. Midwives like Obst monitor progress during home visits, reassuring parents that it is common for the process to take up to two weeks to establish a routine.
Common issues include painful latch leading to nipple damage, breast engorgement, and managing milk supply. Engorgement occurs when breasts become overly full, firm, and swollen due to increased blood and lymph flow during the transition to full milk production. “That requires management or at least you need to know what to expect and when it will go away,” Obst says. Other challenges include plugged milk ducts and mastitis, a breast infection that may require antibiotics. Treatment for plugged ducts has shifted from aggressive massage to rest, anti-inflammatory medication, and gentle lymphatic drainage.
The most significant challenge, Obst says, is the demanding feeding schedule. Babies typically nurse about every two to three hours, resulting in eight to 12 feedings within a 24-hour period. Cluster feeding, which involves prolonged nursing sessions in the evening or early morning, is also normal. “Knowing that that’s normal and also knowing that as baby gets older, they tend to have some longer stretches between feedings, ideally, at night for the parents to sleep up to four to six hours,” she explains. This pattern usually continues until the baby begins eating solids, as it is very, very normal for this to be the norm until they’re starting solids, at least the first six months.
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The Role of Social and Emotional Support
Obst emphasizes that the choice to breastfeed, or not, should align with what feels right for both parent and baby. She notes that some families combine nursing with pumping or bottle-feeding formula, depending on their needs. “It comes down to doing whatever honestly helps to support you mentally, physically and emotionally,” she explains. This flexibility is central to midwifery’s focus on informed choice, ensuring parents understand all options before making decisions.
Obst highlights that having a supportive partner or family member can make a significant difference during the early weeks. She advises partners to bring food, water, and to check in regularly, asking how they can help. “The best thing you can do if your partner is lactating is bring them food, bring them water, keep them hydrated,” she says.
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Beyond practical help, emotional presence matters. Partners who understand normal feeding patterns can offer reassurance during stressful moments. She also recommends connecting with lactation consultants if additional support is needed. Community resources, along with help managing household tasks like laundry, can reduce stress during the critical first weeks.
Obst notes that mental health is vital, as feelings of anxiety, sadness, or frustration are common. Parents are encouraged to talk openly about their emotions and take each day as it comes.
